i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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