Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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