Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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