i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
