I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just had sex on a roof
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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