He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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