just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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