Cold hands, warm shart.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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