dude i'm inner monologue high
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
