she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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