Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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