im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize