Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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