found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The feeling are messing with the penis
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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