if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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