just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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