I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
