the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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