woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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