Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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