Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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