The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
