please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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