I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
