Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
