I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
