Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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