omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize