White coat. Heels.
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize