he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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