I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
