fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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