Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
