I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
