I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think your dad took our porno
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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