my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
