Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
3 2 1 whiskey
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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