I bet he comes in French.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
