Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
