Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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