C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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