you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This is my gift to your gina
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
