I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I will die if light touches me.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
