It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
