Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
