What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
