i really wish james franco would like my vagina
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize