Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
