Your face is a jimmy john
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dicks are not precious.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
