I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
