apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So squirting runs in the family.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
