just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
