Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
