i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's the barista slut.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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