would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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