Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
