we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
