I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
