I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
